So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
