South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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