There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
