I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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