we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Liz is crying about burritos again.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
