you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
