Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Is Oprah even human
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
