We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
