It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I need moral support for this bender
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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