from now on my penis is your penis
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
