I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Pants are for mortals
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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