What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
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