What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize