Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
