I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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