You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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