Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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