I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
