I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
