Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
