I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
