Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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