oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
