True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Found your dick twin last night
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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