Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
you would pick up someone in the library
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Randomize
