I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
