In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
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He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
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Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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