I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
