we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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