so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
