I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
