: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
