Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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