the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Congratulations! We have a period
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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