There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
