some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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