i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
So vagazzling was a success
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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