You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
