I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
