Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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