I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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