doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
