I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
