Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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