I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
