I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
