wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
