Porn is love you can see.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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