You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
