Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
