"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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