After last night, I could never be a politician.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
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His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Vodka?
Forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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