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Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
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