We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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