It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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