K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
