We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
