So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
