At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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