I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm sobbing to NWA
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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