you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
